Death o Scouts
by Arien
Summary: this looovely story is aaaaall about the people from sailor moon behind the scenes sort of thing. itd be pretty nifty if it became an actual anime though... and tis aalllll done!
1. death of the first two

Chapter 1  
  
"Ooohhhhhhhhhhhh Darien!!!!!!"  
  
Serena screeched when she saw him come around the corner. Darien looked up from his book he had just bought to the spasmodic looking girl down the block. Her arms were flailing all over the place , making poor any and lita punching bags. The two girls tried to hold serena down but serena's one finger poke any in the eye and one of her pigtails got wrapped around lita's neck choking her. Amy let go to care for her now bleeding eye and lita tried to pull the strangling pigtail from her throat but instead lita was pulled to the ground, dragging behind the pigtailed lunatic running for darien. In a matter of seconds lita's face turned from red to purple to blue and then POP! Lita's head came flying off hitting Amy with such force that it knocked her into the street in the way of an on coming truck. Amy couldnt see this cuz she was blind in her blood filled eye and litas nose poked her other eye. The truck honked its horn but it was too late. It crashed into Amy's body sending it sailing through the air into a tree on top of a nest full of now dead baby birdies.  
  
Meanwhile Serena went to jump into Darien's arms but Darien threw his book across the street. "Oh .look. I dropped my book. Better go get it." And he ran to fetch his book just before Serena had time to touch him and she fell to the ground. She sat there for a minute before remembering shes supposed to cry now. "Waaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh hhhhhhh!!!! Daaaaaaaaaaarrrrrriiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She stared at him across the street. He was back to looking at his book not hearing her annoying whiney yells. "DAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!! " Serena screamed in a possessed voice. Out of the corner of his eye Darien could have sworn he saw Serena's head turn completely around in a circle. He stared over at her. "Uh....um.....I... was....um....oh yeah! Serena! I have to go to rei's temple. I..uh.. told her i'd help her with....stuff." He turned and ran off.  
  
Serena sniffled up the boogies coming out of her nose and rose up to her feet. "Oh my head hurts." she said out load to herself as she walked home to get something to eat.  
  
She opened the door and walked into her house. A pink haired troll popped out from the kitchen. "Hey Serena! Want some cookies?!" the troll held out a plateful of moldy green lumpy cookies. "Mmmmmm....." Serena grabbed the plate and shoved it down her mouth.  
  
"That was pretty yummy, Rini. Oh but i've got such a headache. It feels like theres something pulling my head back off my neck." Rini looked down at Lita's body that was still entangled in Serena's hair.  
  
"Oh... really? Thats..uh...um..i'll go get you some aspirin." Rini went back into the kitchen and Serena flopped down on the living room couch. Rini came back in with 10 pills in her hand and a glass of water in her other.  
  
" Here you go." She said handing them over to Serena.  
  
"Are you sure taking 10 pills is the right amount?" Rini nodded."I read the label."  
  
"Oh,ok." She popped all 10 pills in her mouth at once and swallowed them down with water. She patted Rini's head."You're such a nice little kid. I always thought you were a descendent of one of them evil care bear's or something but maybe I was wrong."  
  
Rini smiled sweelty and a strange glint came from her eyes."You're such a great mommy." Rini said just before she grabbed the glaas she had gave serena and hit her on the head with it knocking her out. 


	2. yummy kitty!

Chapter 2  
  
When next Serena woke up she was in the dark. The evil pink haired troll appeared.  
  
"Rini! You stupid little.." Rini fell to her knees crying.  
  
"Rini,whats wrong!"  
  
"I'm sorry Serena! Your mom took me to a doctor before and I was diagnosed with the 'hitting people in the head with glass' syndrome. When I see glass I just have to hit someone in the head with it! The doctor said its not my fault!" She cried on.  
  
Serena being the idiot she is believed her. "Oh,i'm sorry rini. I didnt know." Serena fell over. "Woah! I feel sooo dizzy..."  
  
"Yeah,its probably because I accidently gave you ritalin before instead of aspirin. I read the label wrong."  
  
"How do you read a label wrong?!"  
  
Rini started bawling again. "I'm only 10. I cant read yet!!!!!"  
  
"Sorry sorry sorry! I forgot! I couldnt read til I was 13 and even then I couldnt read everything."  
  
Rini jumped to her feet. "Well I have to get going now."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"A private meeting."  
  
"Alright cya latez." Rini left the dark room and serena heard the front door close.  
  
There was a big gurgle mumble sound. Serena looked down at her tummy and realized she was oh so hungry. She went to the kitchen and opened the fridge door. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
Luna came running into the room. "Whats wrong?!" She asked the frantic serena opening every caninet door.  
  
"There's no food! Not anywhere!"  
  
Luna jumped up onto the table. "Calm down ,serena. Your mom is out shopping now."  
  
"Whew, thats good to hear. I thought I was going to die!"  
  
"If only."Luna muttered under her breathe.  
  
"Did you say something?" Serena asked hanging her head back only now noticing the maget covered lita body wrapped in her hair. "Ewwwwwwwww! Luna! theres a body in my hair! Get it out get it out get it out!" Serena jumped up and down.  
  
"Is that Lita?"  
  
"Of course not! What would lita's body be doing in my hair?!"  
  
"Ok hold on ill have it out in a second!" Serena continued hopping up and down then felt a load being taken off her head. "ahhh...much better." She went to pull her hair back but felt none to pull.  
  
"MY HAIR!"  
  
Luna smiled sheepishly,"Scissors slipt." She said holding up the scissors in her paws.  
  
Serena's tummy started groaning again. "I just wished I had something to eat." Then her eyes wandered down to the cat toying with the scissors on the table.  
  
"Hmm...." Serena smiled and yanked Luna from the table and the cat meowed her heart out. Not long later Serena had seated herself at the table with a plate of steaming kitty in front of her.(Remember she is japanese) A mere minute later the plate was empty and serena was feeling much better and decided to go out to take a walk. She could tell the ritalin was finally wearing off.  
  
She went over to the temple to see what rei was doing or to just plain annoy her.  
  
"Reeeeei!!!!!" She called before entering. When no one called back she let herself in. "Rei Rei Reeeeei!" She opened every door going down the hall coming to the last one.  
  
"Rei you in here?" She opened the door and saw Rei and Darien seriously making out in front of that firey thingie. They both looked up at her. Serena stared at them in shock. 


	3. fight

Chapter 3  
  
"Alright Rei! You.Me. Out side. NOW!" Serena led the way.  
  
"Serena its not the way it looks. I..uh tripped on the rug and fell on him." Rei said.  
  
"There's no point in trying to lie anymore Rei. She should know the truth." Darien took Serena's hand. "Serena, I can't stand being around you. You're constant whining and crying drive me crazy! And you can't dress. If theres one thing I cant stand is my girl dressing tacky. " Serena looked at him in disbelief. "But..Darien....YOU CANT DRESS EITHER!"  
  
"Serena! How could you say such a thing?!" Darien looked hurt. "I worked long and hard to pay for these pink plaid pants, my green jacket, and my EARTH shirt! " Serena took a step back and gasped. "Darien.....You're gay!?"Serena said half startled.  
  
Rei stared at him the darien pouted and stomped his foot on the ground. "Oh poopies! You found out my secret!"  
  
"If youre gay then why were you just with rei?" Serena asked curiosly.  
  
"Oh, its just that rei reminds me so much of my old boyfriend.*Sniff* I miss him so much"  
  
"WHAT?! I remind you of a guy?!" Rei shreiked.  
  
"Hmm... yeah I guess I can see how rei could look like a guy." Serena said thoughtfully.  
  
"Serena!!!!! Thats it! Mars Crystal Power!!!!!!!!" Rei shouted and tranformed into Sailor Mars.  
  
"Mars Fire Ignite!" She directed the fire towards Serena. Serena screamed jumping out of the way.  
  
"Rei, you're insane! But two can play at this game! MOON CRYSTAL POWER!" Serena screamed while running away from the fire attacks.  
  
"Thats it rei! Moon Spiral Heart Attack!"  
  
"Mars Celestial Fire Surround!"  
  
Rei's attack vanquished Serena's flying hearts and finished off what was left of Serena's hair. "How are a bunch of hearts supposed to beat fire?!"  
  
"Ahhhh Hearts are for love.....I wish my boyfriend was here." Darien said more to himself then to anyone else in the background. The two girls stared at him.  
  
"So...Darien? Who was your boyfriend?" Rei asked him.  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"The last one you were with."  
  
Darien giggled,"Oh I was with a bunch of guys at the same time,hehe. Well,lets see now...There was Andrew, Gregg, Ken, Serena's dad, Chad, and Rei's grandpa. I think thats all. "  
  
"WHAT?!" Serena and Rei both yelled in unison.  
  
"Oh ,wait, I was also with Rubeus. He has such a cute laugh!"  
  
"Alright sicko gaywad! Thats it! MOON SCEPTOR...."  
  
"MARS FIRE..."  
  
"STOP RIGHT THERE!"a voice from behind them screamed. 


	4. gay guys to the rescue.....sorta

Chapter 4  
They turned to see Andrew and Chad standing just beyond the bushes.  
Darien jumped up and down,"Oh my sweeties have come to rescue me! yeepie yay!"  
"Thats right Darie Baby!" Andrew said.  
"Yeah, Dude! These chics wont touch you as long as the Chad man is here to protect your righteous booty."   
"Chaaaaaaaaaaaaadddd! what happened to you worshipping me?!" Rei yelled at him.   
"Lower the harsh tone babe. How do you expect a dude of my virtuous status stay hooked on a dominatrix witchie girl that talks to birds?"  
"I AM NOT A WITCH AND THOSE BIRDS TALKED TO ME FIRST!"  
"Yeah,ok witchie dudette. Now leave Darien alone or you're gonna get a most heinous awakening!"  
"I don't think so surfer boy!" Then rei ran at him and slammed her heel into Chad's cheek.  
"Ah! My...my cheek!" Chad held his hands to the hole in his face made by rei's shoe. The shoe was dangling from his cheek by the heel.  
"Give me my shoe back!" Rei told him hopping on the one foot that still had a shoe on it.  
"Not in your dreams!" Chad took to the shoe from his cheek and chucked it at Rei. It struck Rei right in the nose flattening it to level down with the rest of her face.   
"Ahhh!!!! My nose! Now i'll never be a model!"  
"Get over it!" Serena said teaming up with Chad and Andrew. The two guys picked up Serena and used her as a log to ram Rei down. Rei's body flew back into a tree making a dent in it.  
"Ugh...Serena...! What are you doing?!" ,Rei freaked getting up to her feet," They're the one's that stole your boyfriend and turned him the other way!"  
"Oh....yeah....But you were making out with him!"  
"Yeah thats right!"  
"Like totally!" Both Andrew and Chad chimed in.   
"Whew hoooooooo! You go boys!" Darien shouted doing a cheerleading stunt.   
"Ok then,if thats how its going to be." Rei took out one fo those sailor commuicators and started talking into it. A second later Sailor Venus, Uranus, and Neptune came.   
"Ok now lets fight!" Rei called over to Serena,Andrew,and Chad.  
"No man! You got one more chic than us!" Chad yelled.  
"Too bad, sissy boys." Venus yelled back.  
"Hold on a sec!" Andrew said to them all. He took out a big pink plastic heart from his pocket. He typed something into it and when he pushed enter a part of the thong song rang out. Andrew put the heart back into his pocket and looked up proudly when some others came.   
"Yo,guys whats going on?" Ken asked.  
"Yeah,really? Me and my wife were sorta busy at the moment.."   
"Ew, daddy. I didn't need to know that." Serena said from the ground.  
"Andrew,explain." Gregg commanded him.  
"Rei and Serena were gonna mess with Darien but me and Chad couldnt let that happen so Chad fought off Rei and then we used Serena to knock Rei down and then Rei called some other scouts and then I called you guys."   
"Uh huh, so now we all gotta fight them to protect our gayest pal here?"   
"Yup,"  
"Ok."  
"Who's gay?" Venus asked.  
"All us guys." Ken said.  
"You too, Andrew?"   
"Yeah. Dont know how it happened but I guess I found Darien more attractive than you. He's got a great body and well, you don't."  
"EXCUSE ME?! I know you did not just tell me I had a nasty body!" Venus raged, hers eyes changing from blue to red and a evil aura surrounded her body.  
"Uh...uh.....dude, someone help me!" Andrew screamed running to hide.  
"No one can help you now!" A burst light beamed from her body.All her attacks mixed into one giant one and headed straight for Andrew.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gregg,Ken,and Serena's dad yelled jumping in front of harms way for one of their many boyfriends. The attack engolfed them all in it ,including Andrew,sending body parts flying all over the place.  
"HA HA HA! Thats what you get for dissing my body!" Venus threw her head back and laughed madly.   
"Ack, no! Half my boyfriends are dead!Not even Darien can satisfy my every longing!" Chad hung his head.  
"And lucky you will be joining them so stop wasting your time complaining!"Rei told him.  
"Oooooooooooooo not Chad! I favored him 2nd most!" Darien cried.  
"Sorry Dare but this boy has got to go,"Rei smiled",You're so burnt! Mars Fire..."  
"Wait. Just hold on a sec before going totally postal on me!" Chad said  
"WHAT?! POSTAL?! YOU WANT ME TO GO POSTAL?!HUH?! DO YA PUNK?! I'LL SHOW YOU POSTAL! HA HA!!! HA HA HAAAA!" 


	5. insanity

Chapter 5  
"Eeeeee! She's starting to scare me!!!" Neptune whimpered.  
"Aw,don't worry. The big bad Mars aint gonna hurt you as long as i'm around." Uranus comforted.  
"OH WHATS WRONG?! BIG BABY NEPTUNE CRYING?! DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT?!" Rei shot fire all over the place aiming wherever she felt like it.  
"Get control of yourself you pyromaniac!" Uranus shouted. The shower of fire stop and Rei psychotic-ness ended.  
"Oh, sorry guys. Guess I got caught up in the moment. heheh. heheheheh HAHA HAHA HAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!! MARS FIRE IGNITE!!!!!!" Fire swallowed up Uranus and Neptune at once. In the back Chad fell to the ground in relief that it wasnt him who just got burned up.  
"DONT THINK YOU'RE GETTING OUT OF THIS!" Rei screamed.  
"Rei, I was just playing around. You know that! Darien was just a play toy when you weren't around but I always really did love you babe!" Chad babbled on.  
"OH REALLY? WELL I GOT YOU BABE! haha" Rei's fire splurted out from where ever it came from and instantly overcame Chad's body( the hairspray he be using to keep his nappy hair in his eyes helped the fire to spread faster)  
"AH THE WITCH HAS CAST A SPELL OVER ME! AH HELP!" Chad screamed til his body became a pile of ashes and a blue gem fell into the pile then turning black.  
"Uh, whats the gem bout?" Serena questioned.  
"Chad was one of the evil dudes from Emerald!" Darien squealed. "Oh mi gosh! Oh mi gosh! heheh , I wonder if Diamond and Sapphire were as good as he was."  
"Ugh.Alright Darien, you squealing over guys is making me sick. Come on Mars,Venus! Lets get rid of his gay loving butt!" Serena said in determination.  
"Right on my sistah! You go girl! Getting down and funky! Peace out Darien!" Venus cheered.  
Darien,mars,and serena all turned to Venus.  
"Ok,change of plans! Rei and Darien help me take care of this hippie loving peace scout then we'll take care of the gay dude!" Serena instructed.  
"Oh with too much pleasure! I mean who really says ' you go girlfriend' anymore?" Rei said annoyed.  
"Wha...Wait you guys....I don't mean to talk like that...its just well.. I came out of the 70's going on the 80's!" Venus shrieked.  
"What are you talking about?! Rei shouted.  
"Well you know how I just popped up in that one episode w/o giving any real explanation? Here it is. I taveled through time from the 70's almost 80's and thats why I talk the way I do! I guess its lucky for me I got rid of my fro before coming." Venus explained.  
"I guess that would explain some things but you know what? I never really liked the 70"s and I think we should get rid of all that remains of it." Serena suggested.  
"Jungle boogie! dududu dududu!" Darien sang dancing behind them.  
"We seriously got to kill that guy even if he was a good kisser." Rei told Venus and Serena.  
"Seriously but first this Planet of Love chick." Serena said and Rei nodded. Before Venus could try to talk them out of it those stupid hearts engulfed in fire swarmed over Venus and devoured her whole.  
"OOOOOOOOOOh, bonfire!" Darien appeared in a cheerleaders outfit and jumped up in down kicking up a leg in front of the now insintigrated body of venus.  
"Ah im going to go insane with him acting so girly!" Serena screached.  
"Same here. Let's do it!" Rei agreed.  
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha HAAAAA! Finally i'll get Serena all to myself! And I dont even have to get my hands dirty!" A voice said coming from a tree high above them. 


	6. return of a starlight

Chapter 6  
They all looked up to see the figure jump down from the tree onto the ground.  
"Yes, I am back and boy does it feel good!"Seiya came into veiw.  
"Hey, Seiya, my man! Glad to see you back so soon! I couldnt hold Serena back much longer!" Darien said in a normal guy voice and he was back into some nice guy no pink clothing. They all turned back to Darien.  
"Huh?" Serena looked dumbfounded and now a new person walked into the picture. A woman in a long black dress and trailing pink hair came up next to Darien and wrapped her arms around him.Darien smiled.  
"Woah, whats going on? Darien, you just said you were gay certainly acting the part." Serena started freaking out.  
"It was all an act. You were always so stupid, Serena. I've been seeing Rini behind your back since I found out about her."   
"She's your daughter!!!!!!"  
"Ah,yes,she is. She must've gotten her exquisite looks from me which made me think we shouldnt let her marry someone ugly because, compared to me, every other guy is ugly and I wanted the beauty to run throughout the generations to come."   
"That is really sick!"  
Rini giggled,"Is mommy mad because big strong daddy picked me over whimpy little you?" Then Rini and Darien started goin at it for real. Tounges all the way into each others mouths.   
"Oh,ew." Serena ran behind a bush and started puking up everything she had ever eaten. Seiya passed her a breath mint. She spit out the chunks in her mouth and took the breath mint gratefully.   
"Serena, how could you be surprised that this would happen? You gave birth to a chick!" Darien exclaimed.  
"If Luna was here she would tell you how disgusting that is! She would know!" Serena yelled back.  
"She would know? You mean Artemis and Diana?" Rei asked.  
"Heheh, two kittys doing the wild thing! How cute!" Wicked Lady giggled.  
"Where is Luna anyways?" Seiya questioned.  
"Ummm......gee...i really don't know. I guess she wondered off some where." Then there came a meow from Serena's stomach. Everyone looked down at it. Serena laughed to cover it up.  
"Oh I must be hungry again! haha!"   
"I love the kind of girl that can eat more then the sailorscouts put together." Seiya said.  
"Yeah....uh huh." Serena punched her stomach hard and felt a little head smash inside her.  
"Well, if you'd excuse we're gonna go ." Darien said walking away with his daughter.  
"You just wait a minute!" Serena shouted at him. They turned to look at her. "You've seen people die here tonight for not very good reasons so what makes you think you two are gonna just walk away alive?!"  
"You wanna fight me now? Alright, but be prepared. Things could get ugly as soon as I transform."  
"Yeah, I know. Oh Seiya help me! He's gonna throw a bunch of roses at me! eeeeek!" Serena squealed sarcastically.  
"Heheh, anything for you ,babe." Seiya said .  
"Tuxedo Make-up! "( its something like that in the manga. I cant really remember) he shouted. "Rose slicer!" (I made that one up^_^ I dun think he got any real attacks)   
A bunch a roses shot out at Sailor Moon. Seiya shoved her away going to take the roses. 


	7. truth about taiki

Chapter 7  
At the last moment someone jumped in front of Seiya but fell to the ground to quickly so the roses hit Seiya anyway. well the roses bounced off of Seiya's body with a little pong(roses now make a pong noise when they hit you) and fell to the ground. They all stared at the person who would have taken the roses if he hadnt fallen too quickly.  
"Taiki what are you doing here?"Seiya asked.   
"I couldn't let you get pelted by thoses flying roses! What if something happened to you?!" Taiki said  
"They're roses,man. Not death."Seiya said back to him.  
"Yeah but what if one of them poked you in the eye and made you blind?"  
"I closed my eye's when I jumped."  
"Oh,well then it was just a precaution."  
They all stared at him like he was insane. Seiya taking the spotlight again.  
"How dare you try to afflict any thorn marks on my beloved!" Seiya yelled at Tuxedo Mask.  
"It is time you all learn the true wickedness of a rose!" Tux Man shouted and he pulled out a handful of dead roses. They glow a funny color like they were drenched in some toxic waste.  
"What'd you do ? Pee on them?" Seiya smiled.  
"What a funny little boy you are Seiya. You shall be the first to feel the wrath of my roses!"   
"Bring it on pretty boy!"   
"With pleasure...." Tuxedo Mask held his glowing roses up in the air. They all transformed into little furby and pokemon mixed. The hopped to the ground.   
"Ooooh, sailor scouts yum yum! sailor scout yum yum!" the freaky pikachu/furby said with a voice that sounded like it would be long to a demon posessed being. The all the other pokemon/furbys followed in his lead.   
"Sailor scout yum yum! Sailor scout yum yum! Sailor scout yum yum!" they all started after Seiya. Seiya stared at them too scared to move.   
"Ah.....pokemon furbys!!! Someone, help me!!!" He shouted. Taiki looked on in complete horror.  
"I'll save you my love!" Taiki yelled. All of a sudden all the scouts,furbys, and whoever else was there turned to Taiki.  
"Your love?!" They shouted. Taiki stopped dead in his tracks.  
"Uhhh....i didn't say that. heh heh." One of those lil sweat drops appeared on his head.   
"Taiki, you're gay?" Rei asked.  
"No way! Well, it really depends on what way you look at it. I mean if you could be a guy or a girl wouldnt you take advantage of being able to be with both sexes?" Taiki explained.  
"Hmmm, thats a good idea. I always thought yaten was pretty hot." Seiya said.  
"What about me, my darling Seiya?" Taiki asked him , his eyes full of hope. Seiya looked at him a slight nervous smile.  
"Uh, well Taiki, your not really my...."   
"What?! How could you say that? We'd be the perfect couple!"   
"Well, the thing is, right now I kinda like Serena and like I said I think Yaten's kind of hot so i'd be with him as a girl and anyways i'm not into people with big foreheads."  
"My forehead?! I'll get hair implants to make it look smaller! Please, just give me a chance!" Taiki begged.  
"Hmmmm," Seiya looked thouhgtful "......no."   
"Alright, fine then, If I cant have you neither will the other two!" Taiki went for Serena and grabbed her neck choking her.   
"Yo, dude ,get off her!" Seiya grabbed at Taiki's shoulder's trying to push him off of his beloved.  
"Never! The only person that will be in your life will be me!" Taiki shouted psycotically.  
"Rei...." Serena choked out," Go....do that....po..postal thing ....again...on him..."  
Rei smiled wickedly. "I don't know....Having you out of my way will make my life bliss." She said to Serena. Serena gasped in a breath of surprise. 


	8. down with tux man

Chapter8  
Seiya kicked Taiki in the head so hard that Taiki got knocked over. Taiki rose up holding the side of his head with tears pouring from his eye's (oh, and serena is on the ground sucking in a bunch of air).  
"Seiya, it can be great. Just try to see. You can go out to work every day and bring home the bacon and i'll cook it for dinner. I'll wear a lacey pink apron and care for you always!"  
Seiya starts to get freaked out by this whole and backs away from Taiki.   
"Maybe you should go to Darien about your needs for a male partner. I heard he's great." Seiya told him.  
"Hey! I told you I'm not gay! It was just ..."Tuxedo Mask tried to explain before he was interrupted.  
"That's enough! I am going to get rid of your gay hind!",Serena shouted in anger,"There is no way I am going to let a gay ,mulesting ,supposedly friend to the sailor scouts live!!!"  
"You rock, hon!"Seiya smiled.  
Serena smiled wickedly. She charged in darien's direction. Darien held himself ready but at the last moment she yanked out her moon scepter and crossed in front of wicked lady and fell forward as the moon of the sceptar peirced through her trashy black/red dress in the midsection. Wicked Lady shreiked out in the same shrill voice she laughs with. Blood spilled from the body and splattered on sailor moon's once clean sailor suit.   
"Ugh! You ruined my outfit!!!" Serena freaked. Wicked Lady only moaned. Serena pulled out her sceptar from the tramp's stomach and began smashing her head with it.  
"This'll teach you to mess with my man!"She shrieked as WL's body went into convulsions. (ha ha! convulsive=spelling word!!!! I think I used it somewhat in the right sense!) Then serena rose up and turned to Darien who looked on the edge of a nervous breakdown.  
"Uh...heheh, you know I was only joking sweetheart! I still love you. This thing with me and rini..it was just a ...um...april fool's joke!"  
"ITS AUGUST YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sailor Moon raised her sceptar high in the air. Darien screamed the girliest scream that you could only have heard from a lad that hadn't hit puberty yet. He ran for his life as the other's watched on, quite entertained.   
"DONT THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME!" Serena ran after him still holding her sceptar high. When they were half way down the street serena pulled her hand back and with as much force as serena contained she chucked the thing at Darien. It hit him on his upper back and he fell forward. Serena continued running until she was a few feet from his body. She jumped into the air and landed on the sceptar driving it all the way through his body as he let at that girly scream.   
"HA HA HA! DO YOU LIKE THAT?! DO YA WANT MORE?! "  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Darien replied.  
"WAS THAT A YES?!"Serena jumped up and down his his back, mostly where she had thrown the sceptar at him. Seiya and the others had come to sheer her on.  
"Whew, yeah! You go my Sailor Moonie!"  
"Bash his brains out!"  
"Rip them pink plaid pants off his skinny weinny body!"  
"Yeah! Burn the Earth shirt!"  
Serena kicked Darien's body over onto his back. She stuffed his mouth full of them rotting roses he always be carrying in his pocket or where ever they come from.   
"Goodbye honey pooh!" Serena said evily sweet as held her sceptar and shoved the sharp point of the moon into Darien's stomach and dragged it up to his collar bone. She went in and pulled out his lower organs. Stomach, kideys,etc. Then she pulled apart his rib cage and held his heart in her hands.  
"Mmmm, yummy." She held the heart in front of his face and tightened her grip on it til it burst into a gooey mess over his face. He was in between pratically dead and death but she made sure he still felt pain. She pulled the skin that once covered his stomach apart til it ripped then she tore off his earth shirt and sent it over to the people who wrote Death of a Shirt(good story go read it!) When she was sure he no longer breathed she stop the miserable torture. Then all of a sudden the rotted rose petals transformed into the pokemon/furbies and started to devour his body.  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Darien screamed again.  
Serena stared and giggled,"ooh, I guess he wasnt dead hehe!"  
The pokemon/furbies finished eating the body and then they all started kissing and hugging each other.  
"ummm, arent those things like all guys or something?" Taiki asked.  
"I guess twhen they ate him they got his gay genes." Serena informed them and then turned her head to the sound of applause.  
"Ah,well that felt good!" She stood up and smiled.   
"Nice job!"  
"Couldnt have done it better myself!"  
"It was a 5 star performance!"  
"Two thumbs up!"  
"Thank you! Thank you!" She bowed to them. "Now it time for you to go Rei..."  
(((o________o)))) 


	9. hungry bob

Chapter 9  
"Now just hold on a minute! Since Darien was gay and wasn't really interested in me then you shouldn't have been jealous so really there's no reason to attempt to kill me." Rei said.  
"Yeah but you were still making out with him and I never liked you anyway so that gives me two reason's to kill you!" Serena said back.  
"Ugh! How couldn't you like me? Everyone like's me! I am a black hair beauty as well as a priestess! You should feel honored to know one such as I!"   
"Ha, yeah right! You are the ugliest out of all the scouts, you're more irritating than Rini , and if all it take's to be a priestess is to be able to have a big fire in the house and talking to it then I guess I'm a priestess as well! Honor to me!" Serena said get ready to take on the first scout she had been meaning to get rid of.  
"Fine, piggy moon! I'm gonna kick your .."  
"Enough with the talk mars!" Moon said as she jumped into the air bringing her leg out on the verge of slamming it into mar's cheek but she moved out of the way just in time. Then Mars ran up to Moon and slammed her transformation stick on the top of Moon's head. Serena let out a yelp and part of her skull had cracked off and blood squirted out. Her bloody pink brain was in clear view for everyone to see.  
"Ewie, honey! I love you but that's a little icky!" Seiya said from the side.  
Serena paused her fight with mars for a second while she went over to Seiya.   
"Won't you please kiss it for me to make it all better?!" She fluttered her eyelashes as Seiya looked at the big smushy pumping brain disgustedly. "Is that a no?" she asked not expecting a answer as she swung her fist into his guts and as he bent over grabbing at his stomach she kicked her knee up and hit him in the nose. Seiya fell back and Serena took the chip of her skull that had fallen off and jammed it in his eye. He let out a scream that only lasted until the wedge of skull had gone into his brain tearing a big hole in it and Serena turned the chip in a circular motion that it would retard his brain and junk. So now poor lil cutie Seiya is dead…..should've kept him alive….ANYWAYS!  
  
  
*~ On another planet somewhere in the solar system, take your pick. *~   
  
"Please settle down everyone! We are trying the best we can to help you out." Mercury said standing from the front of the large castle which was where Pluto lived.  
"We want food!"  
"Big Bob ate it all! How do you expect us to live?!"  
"My children are starving!"  
"Big Bob ate my children!"  
"Big Bob's eating my children!" The people shouted to the sailor scouts.  
Pluto, Mercury, Saturn, Jupiter, and anyone I other scout that hasn't been killed yet and ain't on earth or anything else is there.   
"What are we going to do?! Big Bob is eating everything on this planet!" Jupiter exclaimed.  
"Should I destroy the planet?!" Saturn asked cheerily.  
"Hmm…that sounds like a good idea." Jupiter said.  
"Wait a minute now. We have to think if this would be good for the planet. It is mine after all and I must look after the people." Pluto said matter of factly.  
"We know you hate looking over these whiny people. This is a great way to get rid of them!" Saturn laughed hysterically as if she had just said a really funny joke.  
"I must agree with Saturn on this one. Big Bob will eat all of us soon if we don't get rid of him. Might as well get rid of the rest of the people on this planet along with him." Mercury told them.  
"But wont this kill the rest of us too?" Pluto asked.  
"I don't know. I haven't tried doing it yet!" Saturn exclaimed.  
"You seem a little happy about this." Jupiter said to Saturn.  
"Do I? I guess I do! Tee hee!" She giggled.  
"Alright then, lets do it." Pluto said somewhat relieved that she was gonna get rid of the people that inhabited her planet.  
"Yay!" Saturn jumped to her feet. Just then the planet rumbled and shook. They all turned to see what had happened and saw Big Bob coming towards them.  
"Ah, hurry up Saturn!" Jupiter said.  
"Ok, ok! SATURN PLANET….." Big Bob was almost there…..just a few yards away now……eeek! Run!  
"DESTRUCTION!!!" Saturn shouted. ( umm…..I have no idea what she really says so I made up the words. I just don't feel like going upstairs to check my manga on the right words.)  
A bright light appeared blinding all and the planet shook even more and a big big blast poofed all over the place encasing the scouts and Big Bob in it. The planet people screamed and ran. Then there was a big explosion and a big puff of smoke then all was good again! Well except now that all 4 scouts laid on the ground dead and sizzling along with all the planet people. The only one that survived was ………BIG BOB! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!!!……..but nobody says that cuz they're all dead! So now Big bob is sitting on his big butt tearing off Jupiter's leg and stuff it in his big mouth sloshing the meaty muscles around in his fat cheeks. And he eventually eats everyone on that planet all of which are dead and now back to……   
  
~* Earth *~  
  
"That was a nice little break." Sailor Moon said sitting down drinking a lemonade.  
"Oh, yes, yes it was. " Mar's was sitting in Darien's lap while Darien stared at her thinking of his boyfriend that looked like her……but wait! Darien's not gay! *cough cough* 


	10. yes this is the end....

Chapter 10  
  
"Well enough of this. I want to get this over with. My mom said she was gonna make me lots o food for dinner tonight and I don't want to miss that!" Sailor Moon sighed as she rose off the ground tossing her lemonade cup away.  
"Yeah, I have to get home soon too. Me and my fire need to talk about something." Sailor Mar's said patting Darien's head as she got off his lap.   
"Mar's come over here for a second. You got something on your shoulder." Moon said.  
"Oh no, I am not falling for that one. How stupid do you think I am?!"   
(ACK! I FORGOT DARIEN'S DEAD! ^_^ sorry bout that!)  
"No, there's really a bug on you!" Serena insisted.  
"You can stop saying that now cuz I'm not going to believe you." Mars said not looking at her shoulder where a once tiny bug that kind of looked like a cockroach had begun to grow and soon was covering Mars' shoulder's, chest, and midsection.  
"Rei! It's covering your body! " Moon shrieked.  
"Really, Serena. Shut up and start fighting!" Now the bug's mouth was over the top of Rei's head chewing on it. "Come on, Sailor Moon. Fight!" The bug continued to knaw at her head and soon its black teeth were sunk into her head biting off the top of the skull.   
"Rei!!!!!"  
"That's it Serena!" Mars said getting ready to kill the moon chick when she put her hand through her hair and felt the big skeletal creature thing on top of her. "Ah!!!!!! There's something on me! get it off get it off!"  
Mars ran around slamming herself against a tree but the bug stayed on. Now Rei's head was all the way in the bug's mouth but you could still hear Rei's yells for help. Everyone else just stood there watching. Serena had ran to Taiki who was comforting the bug-a-phobic girl. In less then 3 minutes Rei's body had been completely devoured.   
"Sooo Seiya?" Sailor moon said.  
"Yeah?" Taiki replied.  
"Everyone's dead now, right?"  
"I think so…"  
"Why did everyone forget about me?!" A angry Yaten came into the scene. "And do you think you're getting Serena now that her other two lovers are gone?!"  
"Yaten! I was starting to wonder where you were!" Taiki exclaimed.  
"Yeah, I'm sure your thoughts were all on me when you had Serena all over you!" Yaten shouted.  
Serena looked from Yaten to Taiki then back to Yaten again. "Hmmm, Yaten is the better looking guy here."  
"What?! Serena my precious little honey bun! I love you!" Taiki said confessing his feelings to her.  
"Ah, what is love compared to looks? Sorry Taiki but its time for you to go." Serena smiled.  
"I will not go down so easily! Over my dead body will you get her, Yaten!"  
"If that's what it'll take." Yaten said, running his hand through his silvery white hair.   
"Serena, baby, tell Yaten stop being such a meanie." Taiki whined. Serena pushed him away.  
"Ugh, I can't stand men that whine. It's such a turn-off!" she looked at him disgustedly.  
"Don't run to your you-wish-it-were girlfriend!" Yaten said grabbing Taiki by his ponytail.  
"Owie! That hurt's Yaten! Stop….!"  
Yaten tore the hair from Taiki's head and tossed it to Serena.   
"Now you can cover that lil head of yours." Yaten grinned.  
"Oh, what a man!" Serena gazed dreamily at Yaten bashing the living tar out of Taiki.  
"Uhhh….help me….."Taiki moaned on the ground.  
"Yaten. Stop. You've already caused him enough pain." Serena commanded Yaten.  
"Are you sure? I mean I'm almost finished with him."  
"Yes, I'm sure." Serena went up to Taiki.  
"Oh, you're so wonderful." Taiki groaned.  
Then Serena took out one of those pokemon/furbies she had saved from Darien's death. She smiled evilly as she tossed the pokemon/furby onto Taiki's body. Yaten jumped back as the pokemon/furby started munching away on Taiki's body.   
"What the heck is that?!" Yaten yelled.  
"It's a special present I saved for Taiki, can't you see?" Serena giggled but stopped when the pokemon/ furby had finished Taiki and was coming towards her. Yaten stared on in wonderment as the pokemon/furby jumped at Serena and clung onto her leg. Serena shook it wildly.  
"Get it off me! Get it off me!" She shrieked then fell over from losing her balance. The pokemon/ furby advanced up her body and when it got to her head it bit off her mouth but she continued to scream and tried pulling the devil creature off her.   
Yaten stood back and laughed. "Nothing will shut that girl up."  
Serena jumped up and ran around knocking into trees and branches and animals and the seven dwarfs. Then one of the dwarfs tripped Serena and the pokemon/furby and all the dwarfs gobbled her up.  
Yaten sighed. "I guess this is all for the better. Serena you could get so annoying and I look better than you anyway." He said to the carcass.   
'Hm, what's this?' he questioned to himself when he saw something that looked like a mashed up kitty form.   
"Yeah, well. Come on dwarfs and pokemon/furby. With everyone else gone I got no one to party with."   
The dwarfs and pokemon/furby jumped up and down enthusiastically. They all went to a night club. It was adjourned to a midget club so the dwarves had someone to hang with while the pokemon/furby hung with the pokemon and furby rejects. Yaten spent his night seducing all the women and getting drunk.  
THE END  
  
Finally a note from me! Hope all seven of you people that read this liked it!!!!!! And I'm so glad I finally finished it. Um, well, yeah……YOU GO POKEMON/FURBY! ……ok that's it. Oh, no , wait a second!   
*In poofs a little reincarnation of Seiya as a pokemon/furby* I'm alive again! Hahaha! *pokemon/furby Seiya starts waddling across the street when a big 16 wheeler runs over him* I'm alright! I'm not dead! *A lil birdie picks him up and brings him to its nest of chicks and they start pecking at him* 


	11. moooreee

i just wanted more reveiws..... YOU KNOW YOU WANNA TOOO! oh the squiggly kitty thats crossed my path =^..^=  
  
sadly, it got smashed by a truck BEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP! 


End file.
